


Stubborn, Sarcastic

by PaintedVanilla



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arguing, Birthday Party, Boyfriends, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Married Couples, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 06:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14037933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedVanilla/pseuds/PaintedVanilla
Summary: “Hamilton, like, Alexander Hamilton?” Charles presses, and when John doesn’t look at him he continues, “Hamilton, like, my ex-coworker Hamilton who is a huge kiss-ass to the guy who fired me and also the same Hamilton who you told me you’re always going to be a little bit in love with?”John finally looks up at him, his eyebrows raised, “How many Hamilton’s do we know?”





	Stubborn, Sarcastic

“Hey! John!”

John is startled by someone calling his name, and when he turns around he sees Eliza Hamilton walking towards him. He huffs a little bit, but he smiles for her, “Hi, Eliza.” he says when she’s close enough, and she smiles.

“I’ve been hoping I would run into you!” Eliza says happily. She turns and opens her purse up and starts digging for something, “I saw you from across the street. I was getting photos developed and I saw you waiting and I was so happy because I never see you at the school and I really needed to give you this!” she finishes, pulling an envelope out of her purse finally and handing it to him. It has  _ John  _ written in nice calligraphy on it.

John takes it, and Eliza continues, “I was going to just text you if I didn’t get this to you on time, but I wanted to use these because Alexander made them for me, isn’t that just so sweet?”

John swallows and nods, “Yeah. Sweet.”

“It’s a birthday party invitation.” Eliza says, “sorry, that kind of spoils the whole point of the written invitation, but you can read about the date and time yourself.” 

John nods, “For Alex’s birthday?” he asks, looking back up to her.

“No, for mine actually.” Eliza tells him.

“Oh.” John says, blushing, “sorry. I thought yours wasn’t until the summer.”

“It isn’t.” she continues, “but Angelica is going to be in town for, like, two whole weeks and then she won’t be able to come back until, like, September, so I would rather have it now than later!” 

John nods, “Okay. Thank you for the invitation.” he says, holding it awkwardly.

“Of course! It would be rude not to invite you.” Eliza says, which strikes John as a little rude in itself, but she doesn’t seem to notice; she looks around the restaurant once, then looks back at him, “I thought Frances hated Dominos pizza.” she comments.

John smiles, “She has a vendetta against it.” he says, “although I’m not sure why. She probably read something. She does that a lot. I thought she would have eventually been okay with eating here again, but she still hates it.”

Eliza nods, “So can I ask what you’re doing here?”

John is silent for a moment, then opens his mouth, closes it, then laughs awkwardly, for much longer than he probably should. When he finally stops, Eliza is still looking at him, her eyebrows raised, and he clears his throat. 

“Uh,” he says, drawing the sound out, “that is an excellent question.”

“I didn’t think it was that excellent of a question.” Eliza comments.

John looks down at the invitation then back up at Eliza, “I didn’t think you were going to be the first person I had this conversation with.” he says, “Besides Frances.” he adds, “Um, not that this has anything to do with me buying food for me and someone who is clearly not Frances, but would it be okay if I brought… a friend? To your birthday party?”

Eliza blinks, then she smiles, “A friend?”

John is blushing very hard, “Yeah.”

“You mean like - ”

“Yeah.” John says quickly, looking away from her.

Eliza nods knowingly, then turns and reaches back into her purse for something. She digs around for a moment before pulling out a pen, “What’s his name?” she asks.

“Huh?” John asks, looking back at her.

“His name?” Eliza presses.

“Oh,” John says, blushing even harder, “Charles.”

Eliza takes the invitation out of his hand suddenly and sets it on the counter; underneath the pretty calligraphy Alex has used, she adds  _ and Charles  _ in handwriting that isn’t nearly as nice, then she hands it back to John.

…

Eating at Charles’ apartment isn’t very easy, on account of his five dogs, but they’re well enough trained that he can get them to lay down while they beg silently. John and Charles are sitting across from each other at his table and his dogs are sitting underneath it. When John is finished he pulls out the invitation from Eliza, which he folded to fit in his pocket after she left because he was too embarrassed to do it in front of her. He unfolds it now and pulls it out to read it; it’s printed on thick paper now creased in the middle.

“What’s that?” Charles asks him, and John slides the envelope across the table without looking up.

“Eliza Hamilton inviting us to her birthday party.” John says after a moment.

“Us?” Charles asks, a bit taken aback.

“That’s what is says on the envelope.” John deadpans.

Charles checks, then looks back up at John, “Is this the wife of the same Hamilton I know?”

“How many Hamilton’s do we know?” John asks.

“Hamilton, like, Alexander Hamilton?” Charles presses, and when John doesn’t look at him he continues, “Hamilton, like, my ex-coworker Hamilton who is a huge kiss-ass to the guy who fired me and also the same Hamilton who you told me you’re always going to be a little bit in love with?”

John finally looks up at him, his eyebrows raised, “How many Hamilton’s do we know?” he asks again, clearly amused.

Charles shrugs, “Just checking.”

John shakes his head and hands the actual invitation to Charles, who reads it in silence. When he finishes he looks back up at John, “Won’t, like, all your friends be here?”

“Yup.” John says.

“Are you  _ really _ sure you want me to come?” Charles presses.

“Well, I already told Eliza,” John says, “hence, your name added to the invitation. And she probably already told Alex. And if I show up alone it might seem like I made up a boyfriend because after being single for upwards of twenty years I finally started to go insane.” he pauses, “plus, like, contrary to popular belief, I actually  _ do _ want you to meet my friends.”

“I already know your friends.” Charles tells him.

“You know Aaron and Theo and you  _ barely, sort of  _ know Alex.” John points out.

“I only  _ barely, sort of  _ need to know Alex because I don’t like him.” Charles counters.

John gives him a look, “Can I have the invitation back, please?” he says lightly.

Charles hands it back to him, “I actually think I’m busy next Saturday, anyways.” he says, and John rolls his eyes.

“Busy doing what?” he asks, well aware that his boyfriend has as lively a social life as he does.

“You, probably.” Charles says, and John snorts.

Charles makes the mistake then of moving his leg underneath the table to nudge John, which excites one of his dogs into standing up. She moves and sits directly next to Charles, panting up at him hopefully, and he makes a face, “I’m sorry, I have nothing for you.” he tells her regretfully, but when she doesn’t look away he makes a guilty noise, then pulls a pepperoni off of his pizza and holds it out for her. She eats it, clearly pleased, “Don’t tell your sisters.” Charles says.

John is grinning at him, “You’re such a loser.” he says.

“No I’m not.” Charles says defensively.

“I say that lovingly.” John adds.

…

The following weekend John drops Frances off at George’s apartment and then goes to pick his own boyfriend up. As Charles is getting into the car John reaches into the backseat to pull the card out of the present, which he hasn’t sealed yet. He pulls the card out of the envelope and opens it, then hands Charles a pen, “Sign this.” he says.

Charles takes the pen and signs the card at the bottom. John takes the pen back from him and closes the card, pushing it back into the envelope, “You did that with zero hesitation, what if I had just gotten you to sign a restraining order?” John teases, sealing the envelope.

“You would not make me sign a restraining order,” Charles says, “you love me too much.”

“Maybe I love you so much I hate you and I never want to see you again.” John says, reaching back and tucking the card back into the present.

“You have a very odd way of showing affection.” Charles remarks.

“Sorry, I’m a little out of practice.” John says, then leans over and gives Charles a kiss, “is that better?”

Charles grins, “Yes.”

…

Alex is the one who answers the door for them, and he’s clearly taken aback.

His eyes land on Charles first, and he makes a face; then he looks to John, and then between them where their hands are intertwined, and then he looks back up, “Hi, John.” he says cheerfully, albeit a bit stiffly, “Sorry, Eliza didn’t tell me you were bringing a guest.”

“She wrote both our names on the invitation.” Charles says.

“I wrote the invitations.” Alex shoots back.

“Eliza added his name when I asked if I could bring someone. We had the conversation in a Domino's, you can ask her.” John says quickly, and Alex looks back at him. John clears his throat, “Can we come in?”

Alex hesitates for a beat, then steps aside, “Of course.” he says with a smile.

When they enter the living room, John very suddenly wishes he had chosen to introduce Charles to his friends one by one instead of bringing him to this party. There’s a second of silence, before Eliza stands up from her spot next to Angelica and says, “John, is this your boyfriend?”

John knows Eliza is just trying to ease the awkwardness, but he really wishes she had picked a different opener. If the blush on Charles’ face is any indication, he feels the same way. “Yes.” John says.

There’s an awkward pause, and John nudges his boyfriend, “Hi, I’m Charles.”

“Hi, Charles, it’s nice to meet you.” Adrienne says from her spot on the couch, trying to assist Eliza in easing the awkwardness.

Alex lets him suffer in the silence for a moment longer, “John, if you want you can put the gift in the dining room.” he says, pointedly ignoring Charles.

“Okay.” John says quickly, grabbing Charles by his wrist and dragging him with him. As soon as they’re out of earshot John looks up at him, “I’m sorry, that went a thousand times worse than I thought it would.”

“That went a thousand times better than my worst case scenario, but it was still awful.” Charles says bitterly.

“I’m sorry.” John starts to say again.

“Washington is here,” Charles hisses, “you didn’t tell me Washington would be here.”

“I didn’t know he would be here!” John says defensively, “I’m sorry! I know that was a mess but we can leave in, like, an hour and go back to my apartment and be alone.”

“I’d rather leave now.” Charles insists.

“That would make it worse.” John tells him; he sets the gift down on the dining room table and checks his watch, “we can leave at 7:15, okay?”

Charles hesitates, “Okay.” he pauses, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” John says, “let’s go sit with Hercules and Peggy. She’ll do all the talking and Hercules will just listen.”

…

Almost an hour after they arrived, John is coming out of the bathroom when Laf and Hercules ambush him. He’s coming down the hallway, and when they hear him coming they both turn the corner and he jumps.

“Jesus.” John says, stepping back.

“Sorry.” Lafayette says.

“If I hadn’t just pissed that would’ve made me.” John says.

“You - wait, what? Why?” Laf asks.

John opens his mouth, then closes it, then says, “You wouldn’t get it. You’ve never given birth.”

“Wait, why - ” Laf tries to ask.

“Ask your wives.” John snaps, “what do you want?”

“What do we want.” Hercules says, rolling his eyes, “I’ll give you three guesses.”

John can feel his face getting hot, “Is this about Charles?”

“What else would it be about!?” Laf says.

“He’s just my boyfriend!” John says, “It’s not a big deal!”

“It is a big deal!” Hercules says, “You haven’t had a boyfriend since you were almost sort of dating Alexander!”

John makes a noise of protest, “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“We do!” Hercules says, “Tell us.”

“Tell you what?!” John asks.

“Anything! Everything!” Laf insists, “How long have you been dating, at the very least! How did you  _ meet?” _

“We knew each other in high school.” John says.

“So you decided to date him now that you’re both forty five?” Laf asks.

“No!” John snaps, “We just - we knew each other in high school and we used to argue a lot and he works where I work now and he just - he didn’t recognize me and he asked me out and now we’re dating.”

“Dating for how long?” Laf presses.

John squirms, “I don’t - ”

“You not wanting to answer the question means you’ve either been dating for three weeks or three years.” Hercules says.

John sighs, “Like, a year.” he finally says.

“A year!” Laf says, “A year! A whole year! You’ve had a boyfriend for a whole year and you didn’t tell us?”

“Well you seemed to take it so well!” John argues.

“You know damn well you haven’t been on a date since Frances was born!” Hercules says, “We were  _ surprised!  _ You just walked into a party holding a guys hand after being single for like twenty years!”

“It’s not that big of a deal.” John says again, this time more tense.

“Is he nice?” Laf asks suddenly.

“Why do people keep asking that?” John asks, “of course he’s nice. Why would I be dating a mean person?”

“You said you used to argue a lot in high school.” Laf says.

“That’s not the same,” John insists, “that was when I was angry at everything and I wanted to fight anything that moved. Now I’m calm.”

Laf and Hercules give him a look.

“Fine,  _ calmer _ .” John corrects.

Laf looks at Hercules, “See? I told you we should ask instead of just listening to Alexander.”

John frowns, “What did Alexander say?”

Laf and Hercules both look at him at the same time, and Laf waits too long before he quickly says, “Nothing.”

“What did Alexander say?” John insists.

Laf and Hercules look at each other, and then back to John, “Alex has a very… strong opinion of Charles.” Hercules says slowly.

“I feel like the words… ‘stubborn sarcastic asshole’ might have been used, but don’t quote me on that.” Laf adds, and Hercules gives him a small shove.

John grits his teeth, “I’ll be right back.” he says.

“Maybe you should wait ten seconds?” Hercules says, trying to keep him from passing them, “you could - ”

John shoves him away, “I’ll be right back.” he says again, pushing past them.

…

John stops to hover over Alex where he’s sitting on the edge of the couch, “Can I talk to you?” he asks coldly, “ _ alone?” _

Alex looks up at him, “Sure?” he says, and John doesn’t wait for him to stand up; instead he grabs him by the sleeve of his shirt and drags him up off the couch, down the hall towards his office. John is thankful there weren’t that many people in the living room.

“John, dude, slow down.” Alex says, but John just pushes him into his office and closes the door, “dude - what - ”

“Laf said you called Charles a stubborn, sarcastic asshole.” John says as he turns around.

Alex blinks, obviously amused, “I mean,” he pauses, “he is?”

John can’t really argue against that, so instead he says, “Yeah - well - he’s  _ my  _ stubborn sarcastic asshole!”

Alex raises his eyebrows, “Why does that bother you so much?”

“Because - ” John says, trying to find the words to explain why it  _ does _ bother him, “because! Because you never said shit about Adrienne or Theodosia or Peggy and we never said shit about Eliza and - ”

“The people you’re listing off aren’t jackasses.” Alex interrupts him, “John, all I’m saying is that Charles  _ is  _ a jackass.”

“Shut up!” John says, shoving him, but there’s no real venom behind it.

“You agreed with me!” Alex argues.

“I don’t care!” John says, “I - yeah! Maybe he’s a jackass  _ sometimes  _ but that doesn’t mean I appreciate you calling him that behind his back!”

“I’ll say it to his face if that’ll make you feel better.” Alex says.

John groans, “You don’t get it!”

“I think I do get it.” Alex says sincerely, which makes John’s heart race in a bad way, “John, listen, I  _ get  _ that you’re tired of being single, but… Charles Lee? Really?”

John stares at him for a moment,  _ “What?”  _

“John,” Alex says; he reaches out and places a hand on his arm, and with as frustrated as John is he hates how such a gesture still makes his stomach flutter, “I know you’re lonely, but trust me when I say that Charles is not the right guy for you.”

John is silent for a moment, processing, but when he finally understands what Alex is trying to say he feels like his tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth. Finally, he manages, “I love Charles.”

Alex huffs, and it sounds suspiciously like a laugh, and John grits his teeth, “You don’t - ”

“Yes I do!” John snaps, pushing Alex off of him, “We’ve been dating for over a year, Alex. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t run every single thing about my life by you to make sure you’re okay with it.”

Alex tries to say something, but John speaks over him, inspired by his anger, “Do you think I like being single? Do you think I like being lonely? I adore Frances, but having a daughter doesn’t mean I wouldn’t also like to have a husband. How easy do you think it is to find a boyfriend when every other guy I’ve ever spoken to doesn’t think that I’m a real man? I love Charles and I love his dogs and his stupid jokes and it’s fucking  _ nice  _ to be in love with someone who actually loves me back!”

Alex shakes his head, “What the hell are you talking about?” he asks.

John can’t stop himself, “You!” he says, careful not to raise his voice too loud even though he feels like screaming, “You! You, Alex! I’m talking about you!” John feels like he’s about to start crying, but he can’t stop himself now, “I’m in love with you! I’ve  _ been  _ in love with you since I was nineteen! Not that you ever fucking noticed! You married Eliza because I never said anything and I’ve been miserable ever since! Every time I went on a date I would end up comparing the guy to you and I would just make myself sad! My doctor put me on antidepressants because every time I was near you or Eliza or any one of your children it would put me down for days! It’s a miracle I’m in love with Charles, because I’m  _ still  _ in love with you! Honestly, Charles really isn’t an asshole compared to the one standing in front of me, who has his head so far up his ass he can’t even realize that his so called best friend is happy,  _ for once,  _ because he’s finally in love with someone who cares enough to notice and love him back!”

For once, Alexander doesn’t seem to have anything to say.

John, only now realizing exactly what he just said, turns without saying anything and leaves the office. Alex doesn’t follow him.

John finds Charles in the dining room, still entrapped in a conversation with Peggy. John sets a hand on his shoulder, “We’re leaving.” he says firmly.

“Oh, so soon?” Peggy asks, and John just nods and doesn’t say anything to him.

“I saw you come back and then you disappeared again, where did - ” Charles tries to ask, but John just shushes him. He’s clearly upset, so Charles doesn’t push it.

John finds Eliza and gives her the most awkward side hug he’s ever given anyone, “I’m really sorry to rush off, but we have to go right now.” he says sternly.

Eliza looks at him, concerned, “Is everything alright.”

John isn’t sure how to answer that, “Ask Alex.” he says, then quickly follows up with, “Later. When you’re alone.” he pauses, “and I’m sorry.” another pause, “I know I’m not a very good friend. I really have to go.”

“What was that about?” Charles asks as they’re leaving.

John doesn’t answer him directly; instead he pulls his keys out of his pocket and hands them to Charles, “You have to drive.”

“Why?” Charles asks.

“Because I’m pissed and if I drive I’m going to get us into a wreck and I don’t want my daughter to be an orphan.” John snaps.

Charles takes the keys and they get into the car.

…

The drive is silent, and as soon as they get back to John’s apartment, he starts to cry. By now his anger has fizzled out, and he’s just embarrassed that he said what he said to Alex. Charles notices as he’s turning on the lamp next to the couch and he frowns, “Are you crying?” he asks.

“Yes.” John says, because he’s not in the mood for bullshit.

“John.” Charles says softly, and John sits down on the couch and immediately folds in on himself. He whines after a moment when Charles doesn’t join him, instead leaving him alone in the living room for the longest moment of John’s life.

Charles comes back with a glass in his hand and he offers it to John, “Drink.” he says simply, and John accepts the glass of brandy gratefully. He downs half of it as Charles sits down next to him; he wraps one arm around John’s waist and watches him, “Tell me what happened.”

John is silent for what feels like hours; he keeps opening his mouth, and then losing his grip on how he wants to phrase what he did and sinking further into Charles. Finally, he downs the rest of the brandy, sets it on the table, and says “I told Alexander that I’m in love with him.”

Charles winces, trying to ignore the bitterness he feels in response to that statement. He tries to keep his response neutral, “Okay.”

“I’m insane.” John continues, “I’m a fucking idiot. Why did I do that?”

“I don’t know.” Charles says honestly.

“I, realistically, might have just destroyed a marriage.” John says, bewildered, “and at Eliza’s birthday party nonetheless.”

“I’m sure you didn’t destroy their marriage.” Charles tells him.

“I’m sure knowing someone is in love with your husband doesn’t exactly make marriage a walk in the park.” John says. 

“My boyfriend is in love with another man,” Charles points out, “but I know he would pick me over him, so it doesn’t necessarily make my relationship with you any more difficult than relationships tend to be.”

“You hate that I love Alex.” John argues.

“I mean, I don’t enjoy it.” Charles says, “but I know you would never act on it, so I’m not mad at you. He was kind of here before I was.” he adds, reaching over and patting John’s chest where his heart is.

John blinks, and a couple of tears fall down his face, “It’s so surreal to hear you talk and there not be a hint of sarcasm in your voice.” he says finally.

Charles laughs, but John cuts it short by grabbing him by his shirt collar and pulling him down into a kiss. They kiss for a moment, and then John pulls away, “I’m sorry.” he says sheepishly, “sometimes I just - I’ve never had anyone to talk to when something like this happens. I don’t like to cry in front of Frances because it freaks her out and I can’t really say ‘I love you’ to a therapist.”

Charles grins, “I love you.” 

John closes his eyes, “I’d pay you to say that a million times.”

“I’d lose count.” Charles dismisses him, “but I can kiss you, if you want.”

“I love you.” John says softly, and Charles leans in and presses a kiss to his lips. They stay like that for a moment, before John pulls away, “I really, really love you.” he insists.

“I love you, too.” Charles says, placing his hands on John’s hips, “Can I kiss you?”

“I’d pay you to say that a million times, too.” John says, and Charles laughs.

“I’d honestly rather kiss you a million times than just ask to kiss you.” he says, and John pulls him closer and presses his lips to his.

…

The next morning John wakes up with only a small hangover, curled up in his bed with Charles. He gets out of bed at about 9:30, much to Charles’ protest, and gets dressed. He starts when he walks into the living room to find Frances sitting on the couch on her phone.

“Oh,” he says when he realizes it’s just her, “I didn’t forget to pick you up, did I? Did I say I was going to pick you up?”

Frances shakes her head, “George has Saturday workday. He walked me home and then he had to head to the school.” she looks back at her phone, “I made coffee.”

John is quiet for a moment, “Thank you.” he says, “Charles is here.” he adds, making his way to the kitchen. Frances only hums in response.

John makes himself and Charles coffee, and when he comes back in his room, he says, “You need to get up. Your dogs probably need to be walked.”

That seems to inspire Charles to wake up. John sits down across from him on the bed and they drink their coffee in silence, until Charles says, “So, can I ask what about last night made you decide to profess your love?”

John frowns at him, “I didn’t profess it. I called him a jackass and chewed him out for two minutes straight and somehow found space to tie the fact that I loved him in there.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t do that when you told me you loved me.” Charles says.

“I am about to.” John says, but he’s smiling. He takes another sip of his coffee, then says, “thank you for - uh - calming me down last night.”

Charles hums, “I gave you a drink and then we had sex.” he says, “I’m not really an expert at comforting people, as I’m sure you can probably tell.”

John shrugs, “Normally I would have skipped the sex and just had too many drinks instead, and I would be dying of a headache right now.” he says, “so a single glass of brandy and then sex with someone who doesn’t make me feel disgusting is very good for me.”

John moves to sit next to Charles instead of across from him, and Charles can’t help himself from asking, “What were you arguing about, exactly? Before the whole… ‘I’m in love with you’ thing came up?”

John rolls his eyes and rests his head on Charles’ shoulder, “Alex was like,  _ you shouldn’t date Charles, he’s stubborn and sarcastic  _ \- which, like, you are, but I love you - and he was talking to me like he knew exactly what was good for me and he told me I was just lonely and that was the only reason I found you attractive.”

Charles hums, “Remind me why you’re in love with him?”

John groans, “Because he was really charming and smart even though he’s somehow a dumbass at the same time and he was really good at sex and he always smelled like coffee and I had only started transitioning like a year before I met him and it made me feel really nice.” he pauses, “the smell of coffee actually gives me a headache after a while, though. You always smell like the shampoo you use and you also have five dogs.”

“Are you just dating me because I have five dogs?” Charles asks, smiling.

“Yes.” John says, “if I meet a man with six dogs, I’m gone.”

They both laugh, and then Charles rests a hand on John’s thigh and leans over and kisses on his jaw, below his ear. John hums, closing his eyes, but a moment later he opens them, “I think you have a bigger dick than him.”

Charles laughs softly against John, leaning against him, “Thank you?”

“Like, there’s a twenty year gap between comparisons, but I think you win.” he pauses, “not by a lot, but, you know, you win.”

They both laugh again, and then Charles gives him a particularly heated kiss. John lets himself enjoy it for a moment, but then he breaks it and says, “Frances is in the living room and your dogs probably miss you and want to be walked.”

“Got it.” Charles says, pulling away from him.


End file.
